sacred space

illustration by Rina Albert-Llamas
https://www.facebook.com/rinadesignmanila

Growing up, the notion of privacy was totally lost on me. I had a brood of siblings, plus a clan of cousins, so the idea of personal space—not to mention individuality— wasn’t even a blip in my universe. In that rumble tumble hoard of people the values of sharing, togetherness, and getting along were prized over everything else. I was so used to having others as a constant in my life, it was almost like I didn’t know where my thoughts started, and someone else’s began. This actually made for some of the most amazing memories and life experiences, but it also made coming into my own a little more difficult. Eventually, the carving out of the personal space for my own things, ideas, and self did start to happen. But because this development was something I had to work at, it’s something I’m still hyper aware of today. And it also comes with some pretty quirky manifestations.

  

from www.centsationalgirl.com

Manifestation #1:

I’m obsessed with home offices and boudoirs. Any time I visit a site on interior decoration, I click on the tabs that will lead me to the wonderful world of personal spaces. I’m especially thrilled when I come across ingenious designs that make use of often overlooked spots. For me, it’s the visual equivalent of an a-ha! moment, and a testament to the fact that yes, people do need people, but we also need to allow ourselves some breathing room where we can express and listen to ourselves, and do what we need to get done. 

Manifestation #2:

Every time I’m given the grand tour of a friend’s home, the back of my mind seems to automatically scan the area for evidence of my friend’s personal space, or a nook where I would put my own little hideaway if I lived there. Sometimes the sanctuary is just a chair, or a quiet corner behind a pile of toys—but it’s there. And that’s what matters. 

  

Manifestation #3:  

illustration by Rina Albert-Llamas

My heart breathes a sigh of happy relief when busy friends share their “my space” confessions. For one stay-at-home mom of four in the States, it’s the third Wednesday night of each month. Her husband makes dinner and takes care of the kids while she goes off to see a movie, or attend an art show. Some nights she even just locks the bathroom door and soaks in the tub. The kids might knock and bang but as long as everyone outside is still breathing, that door stays shut. Another friend seeks refuge in her dressing room. Yet another has a favorite seat at the end of her terrace. Some find their space in their daily yoga practice, or the prayer room of their church. Virginia Woolf once wrote that “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.” I think this goes for all of us, whether we’re writers, accountants, mothers, or any number of hyphenated positions in life. If we are to fulfill our chosen vocation, we need the time and place to recharge, regroup, and just be who we are when no one else is around.

tata

P.S. I’m so happy for Anna and her latest project! Presenting her aha! moment:

Four years ago we moved back to our hometown and left behind a dream house that had special spaces made just for us–a toy collection room for my husband and a craft room for me.

I was a little lost as I tried to nest and settle in our new home.  One thing I really wanted to recreate was a craft room/home office setup. I would start toying with the idea of using one room or another, but always cut things short because they were already being used for something else. Eventually I got stuck on believing there was just no room. 

Then one weekend, inspiration struck.  The hallway on our second floor, right outside all our bedrooms, had some space.  I quickly rearranged a few pieces of furniture (something I get such a kick out of doing), bought a shelf, a small round table and two chairs (that were on sale!!), filled all the pieces with only the things I needed for purposes of craft work and play.  After just one weekend’s worth of work, I was surprised that I got exactly what I needed: A new home office!

“Bloom where you’re planted!” I love this saying.  I live by it.  Some say it’s making do, but I think it’s the making and doing that gives results.  And the attitude you have when you face new challenges can make all the difference.  The solution might just be right in front of you–or right outside your door ;) ;)

 anna