sacred space

illustration by Rina Albert-Llamas
https://www.facebook.com/rinadesignmanila

Growing up, the notion of privacy was totally lost on me. I had a brood of siblings, plus a clan of cousins, so the idea of personal space—not to mention individuality— wasn’t even a blip in my universe. In that rumble tumble hoard of people the values of sharing, togetherness, and getting along were prized over everything else. I was so used to having others as a constant in my life, it was almost like I didn’t know where my thoughts started, and someone else’s began. This actually made for some of the most amazing memories and life experiences, but it also made coming into my own a little more difficult. Eventually, the carving out of the personal space for my own things, ideas, and self did start to happen. But because this development was something I had to work at, it’s something I’m still hyper aware of today. And it also comes with some pretty quirky manifestations.

  

from www.centsationalgirl.com

Manifestation #1:

I’m obsessed with home offices and boudoirs. Any time I visit a site on interior decoration, I click on the tabs that will lead me to the wonderful world of personal spaces. I’m especially thrilled when I come across ingenious designs that make use of often overlooked spots. For me, it’s the visual equivalent of an a-ha! moment, and a testament to the fact that yes, people do need people, but we also need to allow ourselves some breathing room where we can express and listen to ourselves, and do what we need to get done. 

Manifestation #2:

Every time I’m given the grand tour of a friend’s home, the back of my mind seems to automatically scan the area for evidence of my friend’s personal space, or a nook where I would put my own little hideaway if I lived there. Sometimes the sanctuary is just a chair, or a quiet corner behind a pile of toys—but it’s there. And that’s what matters. 

  

Manifestation #3:  

illustration by Rina Albert-Llamas

My heart breathes a sigh of happy relief when busy friends share their “my space” confessions. For one stay-at-home mom of four in the States, it’s the third Wednesday night of each month. Her husband makes dinner and takes care of the kids while she goes off to see a movie, or attend an art show. Some nights she even just locks the bathroom door and soaks in the tub. The kids might knock and bang but as long as everyone outside is still breathing, that door stays shut. Another friend seeks refuge in her dressing room. Yet another has a favorite seat at the end of her terrace. Some find their space in their daily yoga practice, or the prayer room of their church. Virginia Woolf once wrote that “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.” I think this goes for all of us, whether we’re writers, accountants, mothers, or any number of hyphenated positions in life. If we are to fulfill our chosen vocation, we need the time and place to recharge, regroup, and just be who we are when no one else is around.

tata

P.S. I’m so happy for Anna and her latest project! Presenting her aha! moment:

Four years ago we moved back to our hometown and left behind a dream house that had special spaces made just for us–a toy collection room for my husband and a craft room for me.

I was a little lost as I tried to nest and settle in our new home.  One thing I really wanted to recreate was a craft room/home office setup. I would start toying with the idea of using one room or another, but always cut things short because they were already being used for something else. Eventually I got stuck on believing there was just no room. 

Then one weekend, inspiration struck.  The hallway on our second floor, right outside all our bedrooms, had some space.  I quickly rearranged a few pieces of furniture (something I get such a kick out of doing), bought a shelf, a small round table and two chairs (that were on sale!!), filled all the pieces with only the things I needed for purposes of craft work and play.  After just one weekend’s worth of work, I was surprised that I got exactly what I needed: A new home office!

“Bloom where you’re planted!” I love this saying.  I live by it.  Some say it’s making do, but I think it’s the making and doing that gives results.  And the attitude you have when you face new challenges can make all the difference.  The solution might just be right in front of you–or right outside your door ;) ;)

 anna

what's your number?

Numbers play an important part in our lives; guiding our days, weeks, months, and years.  They also tell us lots of other things like our age, cholesterol count :(, weight, and size!!!

While talking about our next blog entry, a follow-up on our “dress me up with my love” post, Tata asked me a simple question.  “Why did you decide to have a dress made this time, instead of buying one like you usually do?” The answer was easy.  I told her that this time, I wanted a dress that was made to fit me, instead of my trying to fit into a dress. I didn’t want to carry several sizes into the dressing room to see which one would look best on me.  I didn’t want to guess if I was a size 6, 8, or 10. I just wanted to be my size.

I also wanted expert advice on how to dress for my shape.  Here are the top 3 things I learned from this experience:

1.  Separates rock! 2 pieces are better than 1!

2.  Create a figure 8! Emphasize my waistline.

3.  Accentuate the positive! Show off my 2 best features: my shoulders and collarbone.

The dress is shaping up to be just as I had imagined.  And as luck would have it, the color we chose for my skirt matched the dress code color card (a new wedding trend?) that was sent together with the wedding invite.

    

Richie's sketch for my outfit :)

Looking forward to wearing this dress 2 times on the following dates: 11.27.12 and 12.21.12!

anna

4...3...2...1...

For some, a tattered 40-year-old gown might equate to junk that should be cleared out. In my sister’s case, it boiled down to a potential profit of 100 bucks at a garage sale. Luckily, I dropped by said garage sale and for 0 pesos (also known as theft), and with a panicked survivor’s instinct, I rescued my mom’s castoff gown from the 1970s.

Yes, I saw the cloth was torn and frayed in many parts, but I also saw that it had once been very beautiful. And as I slipped it on, I was surprised to discover that it fit me to a T, just as though it had been made to measure. All it needed was some TLC. So I tagged along with Anna and asked Richie if she could work her magic.

When Richie oohed over the crinkled silk and floaty design, I knew my mother’s gown was in good hands—and that it could reach its version 2.0 in the care of someone who saw what I saw: a sentimental bit of style that was dusty, damaged, and priceless.

tata

    

the grosgrain ribbon

We’re tickled pink! A lot of you have asked us who we are, and why we share a blog. We realize this can only mean that people are actually reading our posts! So here’s a big thank you from the bottom of our humbled hearts. And without further ado, allow us to share the story behind the grosgrain ribbon.

We are two friends from college who reconnected a few years ago as we bonded over long walks, Martha Stewart Weddings projects, and a shared penchant for noticing—and falling in love with—the little details.

Together we are now filing away and making real all the tidbits we’ve talked and daydreamed about. From bridal ideas to party details, to practical yet whimsical solutions and soul-stirring a-ha! moments, we’ve worked the spectrum. This blog is our attempt to chronicle life in all its everyday glory. (This way, we won’t have to strain our memories in our old age!) Because when you get right down to it, we all have stories to tell. This online journal will give you a glimpse into ours. Perhaps they will even seem a whole lot like yours.

Life is filled with ups, downs, and in-betweens. May our cherished relationships and good times remind us of how blessed we are. And when the slumps do come, may we find comfort in knowing that things always look so much better and brighter when we can share the journey with a friend.

Here’s to gifts from the universe and tying up loose ends!

Love,

tata & anna

all the good things growing

As a parent of Generation Z, I worry that our children will no longer know the world the way we did as kids.  With all the dazzling new gadgets taking over our grade-schoolers lives, it seems to take more effort from the average parent to get them to play outdoors and enjoy the simpler, slower, more natural things life has to offer.

Recently, though, I realized that we actually don’t need to worry too much about nature losing her hold on our children’s future.  She has her warriors, busy as ever, working in a parallel universe as the geniuses that lead the world of technology and gadgetry.  Her warriors are busy planting their own vegetables, cooking healthy meals from their own produce, creating artisanal masterpieces in their home kitchens.

Some of the women I look up to and admire, like Maricar Xerez-Burgos and Paula Zayco-Aberasturi, have been harvesting the benefits of their efforts in backyard farming.  Here are some of the great ideas these super moms have been growing…

(photos courtesy of Maricar Xerez-Burgos)

(photos from https://www.facebook.com/pages/DowntoEarth/185062881523648)

Another thing I’ve learned is that it is natural for us humans to seek balance.  When we lean too much in one direction, our bodies (and our souls) let us know. We crave this balance more than we allow ourselves to believe it.  When we are stressed, a quick walk or moment outdoors can soothe and heal us.  When we’ve gained a little too much weight, our bodies let us know by sending us all sorts of signals, too.  All we have to do is slow down, be still, and listen.  Tata and I are on this journey together (but that's a whole other post). :)

So now, as a parent of Generation Z kids, I promise to worry a little less about all the new things the world has to give. I will decide to be less fearful and anxious about the way technology is changing the way we function.  And I will work hard to show my kids all the wonderful things that both nature and technology can bring to their lives.   I will allow them to bloom and grow in the world of technology, but let them learn from the land by taking them to gardens and markets and doing all those Sesame Street things I loved when I was little…and then with patience, wait & hope for the best. :)

P.S.

This year, on a trip to Bacolod, I was thrilled to be invited by another super mom and good friend, Aimee Fuentes, to her father’s farm. We all knew it was the kind of trip that would give our kids some of their best childhood memories. 

Then came a field trip to see how sugar is made.  Sesame Street dreams do come true! 

*See more of Paula's projects on http://www.downtoearth.ph/

anna

dress me up in my love

anna:  Ok! I have to get over it at some point. This is my new body.  As much as I would love to be the size I was when I got married 15 years ago, it just isn’t happening.  I have changed.  And change can be good, right? 

As I process this new stage of self-love, life goes on, and another formal (and happy) event is coming up. What do I wear?!? Tata, help me!!

tata:  You have come to the right place, my child. :D And now I’m super excited! Buy one? Have one made? Let’s start there…

anna:  I think this time I’d like to try having something made by an expert who might teach me a thing or two about dressing this new, old body of mine.  Can you recommend someone, please?  Do you think I should see Richie? I know she’s a friend and I always admired her work.

tata:  You read my mind! I love how Richie knows how to celebrate real women’s bodies, and how she really highlights one's best features—all in a really delightful way. And since you’re already a fan of her work, I think you get what I mean. But first thing’s first, do you have any idea of what you want? Not a design that she’ll copy—but more of the look and feel you’re after. How formal do you need it to be, etc.

anna:  Great!! My goal is to feel comfy and cozy, yet pretty and put-together. I also would like the top to have the dainty details in a slightly vintage and ladylike fashion, paired with a skirt that is simple and modern.  It’s for a wedding in December and I think what’s appropriate is something full length but not too formal since I don’t have a major part.

tata:  Ah, separates! And smart—with your look there’s no need for a fancy necklace.  

anna:  Perfect! That way I can use the pieces for future events too!  I’m excited!  Really looking forward to having someone give me expert advice on dressing my new shape, too.

tata:  Yay on all counts! I know you want separates but lookie here! Totally love how this is formal, pretty, and playful at the same time :) Lol not listening to directions! But you know, just to inspire you…

(Ginnifer Goodwin in Monique Lhuillier)

anna:  I think that’s really pretty. Yup good for inspiration. But not so comfy-cozy. :D So far I’m liking these. 

(photos from www.instyle.com)

tata:  Oooh! I like! And I like them for you :) You might even get away with wearing flats hehe. Here’s a collar treatment you might like. Just humor me because I can never pull off designs like these because of my body type!

(dress by Shoshanna, www.shoshanna.com) 

And just for fun, here’s a link to a feature I wrote about a fashion show I attended in Cebu. 

http://www.eyp.ph/cebu/article/southern-style/1?comment_page=1

These debutant gowns are gorgeous—but gosh, the bodies one needs to pull them off! Hahaha… I think it will just help you see how far we’ve come. (Happy sigh) It really feels so good to be comfy in our own skin!

in a holiday state of mind

As a freelancer, I’m lucky enough to be able to shape my own schedule. I can set meetings that steer clear of rush hour, and  can write deep into the night if that’s when the juices are flowing. If I edit until 5 am, I can opt to sleep in that morning. And if I my weekend takes me from one shoot to the next, I usually compensate by taking Monday off.

But even if I’m able to declare my own personal holidays, it still feels extra special when a real, official one rolls around. It’s one thing to able to take a break when I need one — and a totally other thing when everyone else gets to take one with me. As the traffic lightens, so does the mood, and the world breathes a collective sigh of relief. Suddenly, we have the license to think less, enjoy more, and all our otherwise pressing concerns can be set aside and dealt with at some other time. It becomes so much easier to stop and smell the roses, live in the moment, and experience just about every other saying there is when we're not chasing after — or rushing towards — the next entry on our to-do list. 

This is something I really sensed today as I felt the joy of not having to do anything permeate the afternoon. The mood reminded me of an article I stumbled upon last night about a 102-year-old man named Stamatis Moraitis, whose cancer was miraculously cured when he moved to the Greek island of Ikaria — a quiet place where life is simple and the cadence easy. A place where so many residents live far into their 90s, it is now referred to as the island where people simply forget to die.  

Experts believe that it has a lot to do with the fresh air, and healthy food — but also venture that the locals’ pace, and their attitude has just as much to do with their longevity. On Ikaria, people wake up when they feel like it, tend to their crops, walk and up and down the isle’s steep slopes, eat simple meals, take afternoon naps, then gather with friends at the day’s end. The relentless pursuit of the next best thing would probably baffle the Ikarians as they are perfectly happy with what they already have.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/28/magazine/the-island-where-people-forget-to-die.html?pagewanted=all

The article, in turn, reminded me of what Anna often says about the Lord's Prayer: The Our Father is true wisdom because of its emphasis on our daily bread. It's all we can really do — just live one day at a time. We've been assured in that prayer that God will give us what we need each day. There's no need to overwhelm ourselves with thoughts of the future or the past.

Which is not to say that we should all quit our jobs and move to remote islands, or just sit back and wait for God to do all the work. But there's something to be said about truly living in each moment and trusting that we are where we should be, and that we already have all we need. If we simplify, rest, eat what is good for us, and connect with those we love, we may chance upon a rhythm that allows us to tune in to who we are, and what we really need. Will honking the horn at gridlock get us to the next appointment any faster? Will bending over backwards for yet another car get us to where you really want to be? And do we really "have to" be at every event we push ourselves to attend?

We may not have the luxury of living in a perpetual vacation, but asking the right questions and reflecting on our answers may help shift our perspective. And if we really must head back to face the daily grind, having a more detached attitude will at the very least, help grease the wheels when we do. 

Here's to holidays and the happiness they allow us. May they refresh and recharge us as they remind us of what really matters.

tata