The Master Cleanse Challenge

My lifeline for the next 10 days! (And the only photo
I think you will want to see.)

I actually had to debate on whether I should start blogging about doing the Master Cleanse. I mean, wouldn’t that be too personal, too gross, and just way too much information? On the other hand, if I couldn’t spill all the gory details, what would be the point? Eventually I came to a happy middle ground. So here we go…

I first heard of the cleanse several years ago when I still worked as a magazine editor. I remember how Lara, the ed-in-chief of Women’s Health was up in arms, riled up about how it was the worst “diet” ever; a quick fix that would shock the body and do more harm than good. But other editors like Agoo and Rorie praised its merits—including of course, the dropping of 10 to 15 pounds.

Now I’ve always been of the “just eat everything in moderation” mentality so something as extreme as the cleanse made zero sense to me. But last May, my Theta Healing teacher, Sanaiyah, brought it up during our Intuitive Anatomy course.

Aside from learning how to scan the different systems of the body, I.A. helped me realize just how many toxins and parasites have been partying inside of me. Parasites in particular, can crave meat, sugar, and all this other stuff they urge us to feast on to keep them alive. Not to mention all that guck that’s piled up in my systems over the years! Flushing everything out was the motivation I needed. My body is supposed to be my temple. I think it’s time I showed it some respect.

The Plan: To do the 10 Day Master Cleanse.

Six to 12 servings of a spicy lemonade per day for 10 days, lots of water, a detox tea at night, and a slat water flush in the morning. Nothing else.

The Recipe:

2 tbsp fresh lemon juice

2 tbsp grade B maple syrup

1/10 tsp cayenne pepper

1 cup water

*The formula actually contains the right amount of calories, vitamins, and minerals to sustain you throughout the day. Thus there’s no need to hole up in a cave while you’re on it.

The Bonus:

Sanaiyah also taught us that ridding the body of all its parasites leads to incredible mental, emotional, and spiritual clarity. She urged us to set an intention at the start, then assured us that our answers would come to us by the end of the cleanse.

So I bought my ingredients, set my intention, and weighed myself for good measure. Hey, weight loss might not be my goal, but I wouldn’t mind shedding a few pounds!

DAY 1:

Okay, I CAN DO THIS!!!

I lovingly squeezed some lemons in an old school juicer (the one that’s basically a bowl with a mound on it), measured out the liquids, added a dash of cayenne pepper, and downed my first serving.

My friend Kat M. mentioned that staying home in the mornings is imperative. And boy, was she right. As cleanse recommends, I took the detox tea the night before. Within 30 minutes of my first glass, the purging began. And it didn’t stop!

Did that really all come out of me?!

Luckily this was a work from home day.

What else I noticed:

1) The material I read was right! I didn’t really feel hungry. And if ever I did, I just drank more of the juice.

      2) My tongue was suddenly extra fuzzy, which I hate—so every so often I’d brush my teeth. Although I think I’m also just starting to really look forward to the taste of toothpaste! Maybe I should buy the kiddie kind that comes in strawberry and bubblegum flavors. (Note: I checked the manual and the fuzzy tongue phenomenon really does occur. In fact a clear tongue actually indicates that you’ve completed the detox process.)

 3) I think of food all day long. Seriously, I realized that I spend so much time wondering about what I’d like to eat, figuring out what I can feasibly eat, eating, feeling full, then wondering about what I’d like to eat next. It’s a proper pastime! With the pastime on hold, I found myself feeling rather bored. Ho hum… Then this hit me: Gosh, I should really be making better use of my time and energy even when food is back in my life! 

By the early afternoon the storm seemed to pass (bathroom-wise) so I decided to venture out for a bit. I ran errands, made sure I kept a good pace, and sipped from my juice bottle every so often. I actually felt pretty good. I also realized that I had to stock up on more bags of lemons at the supermarket (I calculated for about 6 to 8 fruits a day), and that I’d forgotten to buy the salt for the flush from Healthy Options. The sales ladies (or do we say shopgirls now?) there are all very knowledgeable when it comes to the Master Cleanse. They immediately knew what kind of salt I needed—just as they‘d known what type of syrup and tea I wanted the day before. When I told them how daunting the task seemed they were super supportive. One of them even said, “Ma’am just think about it: one pound a day!” To which I calmly responded, “Oh, I’m not doing it for weight loss—but of course I don’t mind losing a few pounds. It’s really for the detox.” And away I floated feeling very evolved. Haha… What a clown.

So to my semi-surprise, I made it through Day 1 without any real hitches. Good job, Tata! Only nine more days to go!