The Silver Linings Playbook

The gateway to our first home in Bali.

Last Christmas, some friends and I took advantage of an airline promo, booked our tickets to Bali, Indonesia, and looked forward to our weeklong Eat, Pray, Love-inspired adventure. As soon as April rolled around, we started counting down the days to our April 23^rd lift off.

We arrived in Denpasar bright and early in the morning and immediately headed inland towards Ubud, the home of rice paddies, arts, culture, and a pretty swinging hippie scene. As this would be my first time in the Island of the Gods, I was all set to make the most of my experience. At the top of my list: a silver crafting class at Chez Monique (www.chezmoniquejewelry.com/).

When my friend Lia inquired online, she was told that classes are held every day at 9 am. Since we spotted the Chez Monique shop on our way to our first Bali meal at Bebek Bengil (for crispy duck!), we figured we were good to go, and booked our car for an 8:45 pickup the next morning. Of course it would have been a good idea to sign up for our slots, but well, we didn’t.

Despite leaving our resort, Indigo Tree, a little late, Lia, our other friend Marcie, and I made it to Chez Monique in record time—only to be greeted by a padlocked door. We waited a few minutes, then realized we couldn't huff and puff the door down. So we

walked across the street to Confiture Michéle to say hi to Wayan who ran the crepe and jam shop, and had been super friendly when we popped in the day before. Wayan actually means firstborn, and Ubud is filled with Wayans, Mades (second born), Nyomans (third) and Ketuts (fourth).  We ordered soursop and kombucha shakes which Wayan gladly whipped up. 

At this point the Chez Monique shop was still closed, which was cause for growing concern even if we were on Bali time—so Wayan went over to the store next to Chez Monique, yelled until they opened up, and asked them to call the owner. Within 15 minutes a tall man with a wide smile drove up in a mini van and Wayan excitedly pointed to him crying, “Monique! Chez Monique! He’s the owner!” In our excitement Lia, Marcie, and I promptly cheered saying, “Yay! Hello, Monique!”

At first we thought we were on Bali time!

Turns out a) we were supposed to reserve our slots the day before, b) we should have proceeded to his family compound where the classes are actually held, and c) his class was filled up for the morning. Upon seeing our unmistakable disappointment (not to mention our friendly harassment), he agreed to take us to the workshop, explaining that we would first spend time working on our designs then could start crafting when the others were done. We piled into his car and began peppering him with questions: So, Monique, how many students do you have? Oh, so the class is in your compound? Who else lives there? Monique, if we would like to live in Bali, where can we stay? Monique’s responses were informative, animated, and most of all sincere. It seemed as though we were becoming fast friends—or as good as friends we could become in the span of a ten-minute car ride.

At the compound, we walked past a maze of homes until we got to his where the workshop was in full swing. Our “classmates” were working on the rings, peace signs, and pendants. Across the board, everyone was having fun, and everyone was working on a design that was deeply personal.

One couple was celebrating their wedding anniversary with matching rings (he made hers, she made his). Another lady inscribed “this too shall pass” on her pendant. A newly-engaged couple walked in and asked if the man could make a wedding ring for his bride-to-be. Unfortunately there was really no more room so they ended up making an appointment for the next day. They may have had a better story, but looks like we had better negotiation skills!

Monique handed us several folders with possible designs, served us some cold water, and introduced us to his wife… Monique. At that point we finally realized that one should never presume a man bears the same name as his shop. And that is how we met Wayan #2.

Wayan #2 a.k.a. "Monique" 
working on our classmate's "this too shall pass" pendant.

Step #1: Choosing Your Design

Lia already knew she wanted to make a ring with an ohm symbol on it and came prepared with an image on her phone. Marcie flipped though the folders and after some time, decided on a

necklace with a double infinity sign. I was taking longer than expected and even if my friends were encouraging, I started to feel secretly stressed inside. I knew I wanted to create something that symbolized the idea of love, but my sheet filled with sketches of heart rings and double heart pendants just seemed too literal. The more I drew, the more panicked and pressured I felt. Sort of like when you’re the last person in your group to leave a hotel room and everyone is waiting in the lobby with their suitcases. Ugh!

That was when I decided to just close my eyes, center myself, and draw what love seemed like. I squiggled away, losing myself in the process. And when I opened my eyes, I knew I had my design.

I then had to render a smaller, simpler version to base my pendant on, and waited for Wayan to show me what to do next. But now I was thrilled with the prospect and glad I didn’t succumb to doing an eenie-meanie-minie-mo, or making something for the sake of it.

Love = two souls joined as one.
From inspired design (left) to practical interpretation (right).
I asked Wayan to sign my sketch as well.

Step #2: Making the Frame.

Wayan pulled out some thick silver wire, measured and cut it, and showed me how to bend it into shape. When I had gotten that just right, it was time to have my silver soldered. It was pretty fascinating to watch but I stayed a safe distance away from the sparks, as well as the acid the silver is dipped in afterwards—especially when I’d hear that sizzling hissing sound!

Lending moral support from a safe distance!

Step #3: Filing the Bumps Down 

From there Wyan showed me how to file the rough edges that formed where the silver was melded together. “It’s very easy,” he said, “just like filing your nails!” He was nearly accurate—only this type of filing took a little longer and required a lot more effort. I had also decided that I wanted the frame of my pendant to be flat so I had to pound away at the silver with a hammer. Wayan complimented me by saying, “Wow, you do most of the work! Hardly any for us to do.” I think he was surprised with how focused I was considering I could have stopped after a few photo ops!

Step #4: Finishing the Design

Next I had to complete the pendant. This part was a little tricky as it meant twisting a rather fine silver wire into swirls. I did my best but also realized it would be wise to have the experts refine my work. I had gotten so invested in the process by this point though, so I let my back seat silver crafter lose and made sure the angles of the swirls were just so. Haha!

My pendant went for one last round of soldering and was passed on for buffing. Then, ta-dah! I was done :)

Despite all the setbacks I must say that I had a wonderful morning. I came away with a special piece of jewelry, participated in a fun, new skill, made some new friends, but more importantly, I allowed myself to relax into the moment. And as my short time in Bali was already teaching me, I realized that sometimes, it is best to just let go. Doing so opened me up to a host of pleasant surprises—turning my experience into something funnier, more memorable, and simply better than expected.

My precious!

a change of pace

scenes from the warp-speed february that was

And just like that, it’s as if a switch flipped. And I went from a steady, easy, foundation-building pace to a full throttle burst of activity. Work projects gained momentum, friends and relatives visited from abroad, and my personal to-do list found satisfied check marks all over it. Places to go, things to do—everything just started happening. There was hardly any time for Anna and I to get together—let alone blog—so we opted to recognize that when a wave of activity comes, it’s better to ride along than fight against it. And while I smirk at how that sounds like the best excuse in the world (hey, who has time to write about life when we’re so busy living it? ;) ;)), I did decide to wholeheartedly embrace where I was, figuring that time and life move in cycles. With each ebb and flow, tempos shift and wane, and being aware and accepting of where we are makes all the difference. If we can't learn to appreciate the downtime, we become impatient. If we refuse to budge when it's time for haste, we risk getting stuck in a rut.

So when plans had to change, I’d do my best to roll with things, rather than grit my teeth as I played and replayed the “perfect” scenario that otherwise should have been. When all that go-go-go-ness caught up with me in the form of the stomach flu, I gave myself permission to put everything on hold, checked out from the world, and thanked God for the chance to rest and re-center. And when a last minute trip fell into my lap a few days later, I was recharged enough to allow myself to see it as a gift from the universe, rather than as something that would get in the way of what I already thought I would be doing.

Sometimes things take baby steps and steady progress. Other times there’s a need for speed. If we tune into life’s rhythm and pick up on what pace we should run, walk, or fly at, we struggle less, and live more. And if we also recognize when it’s time to just sit still, we are less likely to miss the miracles that happen right before our eyes.

Life can change in an instant. The thought of that used to terrify me. Now I find myself welcoming these glorious, light-filled flashes, trusting that as I snap out of one moment and into another, I will somehow always land on higher ground.

Love,

Tata

P.S. I always get a little choked-up when I hear this song. Whether we’re in one of our slow stages, or one of those rapid phases, it’s always good to realize that there’s no day but today... to sleep, to work, to run, to rest, to love, to laugh, to be :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHSVvML8hFM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh5JOqu1PLg

rituals and resolutions

2013 is here. It comes bearing gifts of new beginnings, second chances, and fresh starts.  Once again the possibilities seem endless and we make proclamations of all the goals we plan to achieve before the year is over.  Success stories of amazing new career moves, admirable lifestyle changes, and incredible weight loss, all create both inspiration and pressure. 

Creatures of habit that we are, it is clear we need a little extra help and determination to see our goals through.  After the holidays, we often update our status to a seemingly sad, “Back to reality.” But shouldn’t the New Year’s resolutions we just made bring us springing and leaping into a new alternate reality?

We often feel like we are stuck in our realities and rituals.  And the older we get, the harder it seems to break free from the moulds we’ve created ourselves. Inspired by Tata's post, I tried to ease into the new year slowly but surely. And this is what I came up with for myself.

This year is the Year of Faith, and with faith follows gratitude.  I hope to start the year, not with another list of resolutions, but with just one.  I want to be grateful; grateful for last year’s trials and triumphs, and for each day this year that I am yet to be given. 

Maybe, in the process, as we practice gratitude, respect for the blessings in our lives will grow effortlessly.  Maybe we’ll be kinder to ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually and, consequently, all those other concerns on our list will fall into place on their own.

2012 had its ups and downs.  Here are few of the "ups" to be grateful for:  a 10th, 21st, 40th, & 60th birthday, a 15th wedding anniversary, simple trips to the park, family reunions, magnificent celebrations, and exciting adventures.

2012

Thank you, Tata, for our long walks & talks, and the gift of friendship tied up in a pretty grosgrain ribbon bow. ;)

http://thegrosgrainribbon.blogspot.com/

Love, 

anna

oh, happy day!

As far as New Year posts go, this one is technically a little late in the game. But I’d like to think that it’s right on time. Allow me to explain by sharing a few excerpts from my January 7, 2012 journal entry.

***

I always welcome the New Year with open arms, yet somehow, I also allow myself to ease into it. There’s that bit of me that jumps right in and makes sure there’s enough space for all the hopes to start planting themselves—but another part of me that knows that it takes time, and care, and a lot of letting go in order for things to take root, grow, and flourish.

Then there’s the little matter of acclimatization. A New Year with new energy and a new outlook doesn’t really start on a completely blank slate like we usually like to think it does. More often that not, old habits and dynamics that have set in over time are so much a part of our routine—and even psyche—that it takes more than the bursting of magical fireworks against a smoky dark sky to will them away. We first need to get our sea legs steady on the new terrain.

One of my funny habits is that I don’t start writing in my new planner the moment the ball drops. For me, those seven little boxes marked with the dates January 1 to 7 stand for my turnover period. They signify the fact that I have enough time to get aligned so that I can truly step into the next 364 days with my body, mind, heart, spirit, and soul intact.

So today I open up the crisp, blank pages of my 2012 planner, sniff its sharp papery scent, and know that I am here, and ready to make a go of it. If I realize there’s still something I need to leave behind in a big way, I’ve learned that it’s best to be gentle with myself. And I smile and just think: Hey, there’s always Chinese New Year. 

***

­­­

For 2013, I’ve decided to expand my turnover period to the whole month of January ;) 

And as I told Anna the other day, January 1^st may ring in a shiny, bright, new year. But every 24 hours we are blessed with a new day. So we’ve got 365 chances to get it right.

Happy January 25th, everyone!

Love,

Tata

the 12 ways of christmas (part 3)

And now for the third and final installment of our 12 Ways of Christmas entry. May these stories help make your holidays extra merry and bright...

#9 make merry with music One December many moons ago, some friends and I were goofing around and singing. We realized we actually sounded pretty good and came up with the brilliant idea of knocking on the neighbors' doors to see if they would let us carol, old school-style. I don't know if they were bored or if it was a more innocent time, but we were welcomed. We performed and were gratified to have given our audiences pleasure through our music. I still remember the feeling of gratitude at seeing the pleased responses, the warmth of experiencing this with dear friends, and the sheer joy of singing just because we loved to and wanted to share that love. In the last several years, Christmas caroling has become a more structured (but no less fun) endeavor. I rehearse with fellow theater performers and our engagements are booked in advance. My nearly-four-year-old son occasionally watches these rehearsals  and I am more than thrilled that he shares my love of music. Just last week, I cheered him on at his preschool's Christmas program where he sang out with gusto! Whether in a more formal setting or otherwise, music will always be a special and important part of my Christmas. – Teenee Chan

#10 welcome the Christ Child One of my family’s favorite traditions is actually an Advent tradition that helps us prepare for Christmas. It’s called The Jesse Tree Devotion. We love how this activity focuses on the true gift of togetherness, the gift of His word, the gift of family, and ultimately, the gift of Baby Jesus born into the world. Our whole family participates by hanging up beautiful, hand- made ornaments (from the Mano Amiga in Taguig). These ornaments represent Bible stories we read and reflect on. The Jesse Tree actually comes with a guidebook (in digital format!) and the kids love matching the images of the ornaments with the ones on the computer screen. As we pray and discuss things as a family, my husband and I get to know more about what our kids are feeling, and it’s also a great chance for us to teach them about certain values. Our kids actually scream with glee when it’s Jesse Tree time! And it's really such a golden moment when we listen to each other's answers to the reflection question of the day. Sometimes we laugh at the replies, but other times, my husband and I are simply awed and humbled by the simple truth and wisdom that comes from the mouths of babes. – Buding Aquino-Dee

#11 wax nostalgic Christmas in a non-Christian country like  Singapore can be rather commercialized and lacking in spirit. Sure they've got the season's decor in the malls, but in the heartlands where I live it’s business as usual. To feel that yuletide glow I go back—way back—to my roots. When he was alive, my father used to play old Christmas carols on the stereo. These were sung by old-timer stars like Sinatra, Crosby, Armstrong and Martin. I bumped into a "Christmas Crooners" CD some years ago, and was delighted to find these same songs in one album. Come December it’s what we play here at night (you can even hear the needle scratches from the original records they recorded). Mixed with a cool wind and the glow of twinkling lights, these tunes bring me back to those happy family reunions in the motherland. The effect is nostalgic—and to me, truly Christmassy :) – Lester Ledesma

#12 slip away While I do enjoy all the Yuletide festivities (from big bashes to the token round of ice skating), Christmas for me is also about stealing some pockets of time away from all the holiday madness. Whether it’s for a few hours or a long weekend, this quiet time is invaluable, helping me find perspective and appreciate the beauty of my surroundings. This year, before the holiday really kicked into gear, I hied off to Aruba for some yoga and relaxation. There, I had four days to reflect on the year and discover paddleboard yoga! How wonderful to experience what can only be found when you're not rushing to check one more thing off your Christmas to-do list. Then on an evening back in New York, I decided to walk home from a holiday gathering. It was snowing lightly, and late enough for the tourists to have retreated indoors. I noticed on the corner of 5th avenue and 54th street a saxophonist playing such stirring and soulful jazz music. Other than a couple rushing off, he was alone on that corner pouring his heart into his song. I don't think he even cared if anyone was listening. I stood back and watched from across the street for a good long while, grateful for that beautiful Christmas moment. – Ani Payumo

Thank you so much to Naynay, JJ, Michi, Dana, Cay, Mia, Chinggay, Garch, Teenee, Buding, Lester, and Ani for helping us make our three-part holiday entry truly special. If there's something we were more than happy to confirm, it's that there is no one way to celebrate the season. And it really all comes down to what brings the most joy and grace into the lives of you and your loved ones.

From our hearts to yours, Merry Christmas!!!

tata & anna

To view Parts 1 and 2 click here:

http://thegrosgrainribbon.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-12-ways-of-christmas-part-1.html

http://thegrosgrainribbon.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-12-ways-of-christmas-part-2.html

the 12 ways of christmas (part 2)

It's beginning to look a whole lot more like Christmas! Here's hoping these snippets will help you feel it a whole lot more, too. In other words, here's, Part 2 of our 12 Ways of Christmas entry...

#5 give special presents I’ve always loved giving gifts. Whether it was the local chocolate I'd get my mom from our neighborhood grocery store on Mother's Day, or the pair of Kashieca shoes my sister really wanted when I was in high school, I'd try to see what would make people happy, then go to great lengths to come up with a way (not to mention the money needed) to surprise them with it. These days with my company Great Ideas, I get to exercise so much more creativity in gift giving since I work with so many talented suppliers. One of this year's discoveries was engraving images onto inexpensive palo china wood (my first foray with it was a tote for a beach party). My kids have also become my little helpers in this exciting new stage in my life.  It brings me so much joy and I feel Christmas even more when I see them participating in my love of thoughtful gift giving. – Cay R. Araneta

#6 play up the mood It's the little, personal rituals I've created over  the years that make me feel the Christmas spirit. I love to listen to She & Him's Christmas album while wrapping my gifts early in December. There's nothing like seeing a bunch of boxes wrapped with pretty bows and tags to get me into the gift-giving mood! I also line up the movies come Christmas time. The days leading up to the 25th are never complete without a dose of "The Holiday," "Serendipity," and of course, "Love Actually." Christmas Eve and Christmas day itself are full of the usual family parties and traditions—it's funny how, as a kid, I always looked forward to opening gifts, but now that I've gotten older, I get my kicks from the yearly spread! I try not to binge at the buffet to make room for some rich, hot chocolate paired with Cunanan ensaymada. And for after-hours festivities, I take up an extra piece and an extra cup up to my room so I can enjoy one last warm fuzzy hurrah while listening to Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" while looking at my pile of unwrapped presents ;). – Chinggay Labrador

#7 create christmas moments To take the focus away from gifts and materialism, my husband and I try our darnedest to make the holidays a time for special family traditions. To start with, there’s our nativity set—which is actually a playmobil—so our son and daughter are in charge of setting it up. Then we make it a point to put the tree up together.  Ours isn’t glam, but it’s filled with decorations that are meaningful to our family. Old favorite toys turn into décor, and every year, I have the kids paint an ornament. When they’re done, I write their name and the year on it. It’s really nice to look back and see how far they’ve come. We also hang photos of all our family members. I think this reminds my kids that Christmas is really about spending the season with our nearest and dearest. My kids love what we call the 12 Gifts of Christmas, which starts on December 12. The presents are usually super small (things they need like books, socks, or their favorite shampoo) but their simplicity doesn’t seem to dampen their spirits. For them, it’s really all about the anticipation, excitement, and appreciation that comes with the tradition. And last but not the least, we visit the animated display in Greenhills every year. This reminds me of my growing up years when my family would trek to C.O.D. to watch something similar. It’s almost like passing down the memories from one generation to the next.  – Mia Fausto Cruz

#8 change perspective Maybe it’s age, but as one gets older big, glitzy and expensive gifts matter less and less—though I’d never refuse a Deuter Futura Pro 34, a week-long stay in Villa del Balbianello on Lake Como, an Omega 2500 Caliber and a lesson on how to make the perfect martini. I’ve come to realize that Christmas is so much more than just a date. Corny as it may sound, it is a state of mind—and not about buying this year's gifts with next year’s money. 
– Mariano Garchitorena

Cheers!

tata & anna

To view Parts 1 and 3 click here:
http://thegrosgrainribbon.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-12-ways-of-christmas-part-1.html
http://thegrosgrainribbon.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-12-ways-of-christmas-part-3.html

the 12 ways of christmas (part 1)

While we really wish we had the Ellen Degeneres-type capability to shower you all with a bonanza of gifts we, well, don't. So instead, allow us to help you get into the spirit of the season by sharing the little traditions our friends turn to during the most wonderful time of the year. Here goes Part 1 of our 12 Ways of Christmas...

#1 celebrate in style  I love entertaining at home. There's something naturally cathartic about thinking of a color scheme, setting the table, getting the best cake possible and trying something new. Another reason why Christmas is special is that friends come home from abroad, which makes coming together even more poignant. I once hosted dinner for a best friend who had turned vegan. What others might see as difficult to pull off was actually fun—and I loved the food, too! I also finally got to use some gold lattice napkin holders from a home store in Singapore, new blue plates I discovered at my suki store, and an idea to use corks for place holders. I just love how everything, and everyone, comes together when I entertain for the holidays. – Naynay Montilla

#2 blend traditions  Since I got married, the one sure thing about Christmas in my place is on December 24th, when my wife’s family comes over for lunch. They bring tamales and broas from their hometown of Sariaya, Quezon and we enjoy them for merienda at around 5 pm  (after my home-cooked lunch) with coffee or tea. Being the only "outsider", I eat this with banana ketchup (it's a Yulo thing) and freak everyone out in the process. This year, I plan to buy some Caviteño tamales and stage a "showdown" just for fun. December, by the way, is the only time I ever see these treats so they’re now one of my markers for the season. – JJ Yulo, Pinoy Eats World 

#3 dress the part    Though we don't have any formal traditions when it comes to dressing for the holidays, we are making new ones as we go. Lately I like dressing my family in thematic (but not identical!) outfits since the coordinated clothes look great in photos. This snapshot was taken on Christmas Eve. At the time, I was designing the outfits for my high school reunion. We had a back and white color scheme—and I decided to go with the same idea for my family.  In fact, the bolero of my youngest daughter was just made from retaso! – Michi Calica Sotto, fashion designer

#4 remember those you love  My husband, two sons, and I have been living away for a total of eight years. Though it would be ideal if we came home each year to celebrate, there have been times where we've spent Christmas in our host country instead. While we miss the warmth of getting together with extended family, we've enjoyed having to make new traditions for ourselves, and we also relish the quiet and the chance to spend time with friends that have become family to us. The first time we spent Christmas away from Manila we decorated our tree with Christmas balls. Each ball had the name of a family member or friend that we would have surely seen were we in Manila that year. We called it the "family and friends tree" and it’s since become a tradition of sorts. After years of living in different places, it now it feels like we take a part of where we’ve been with us, and everywhere we celebrate Christmas is home. – Dana Coscio-Mercado

Cheers!

tata & anna

To view Parts 2 and 3:
http://thegrosgrainribbon.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-12-ways-of-christmas-part-2.html
http://thegrosgrainribbon.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-12-ways-of-christmas-part-3.html